Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Property Manager take 246

Okay so I've written a few posts about my job and how ridiculous some of the people I deal with are. I have talked about the hoarder, some of the crazy parents and the crazy questions I get. Here is a sample of my last month and one that happened today involving dental floss. I'm thinking of starting a whole separate blog for this stuff.

Tenant: My internet is out what do I do.
Me: Ummm Call your internet provider and not your landlord

New tenant: Before I move in I need to know what will happen in case the building burns down or explodes, how will i be compensated.
Me: (laughing) I'm sorry did you say Explode????
Tenant: Yes, this is not a laughing matter miss.
Me: I'm sorry. I suggest you get renters insurance because if the building explodes I cant help you protect your belongings.

New Tenant:(same as above) Our parents dont know we will be living together so if they call can you not mention my girlfriend.
Me: Yes I will be discreet if they ask me if you are living in sin. (Again thinking he is joking I laugh)
Tenants GF: Mam this is very serious to us, I'm in seminiary and could get in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out we are living....... in sin (About to cry)
Me: Just make sure you dont get pregnant and I doubt they would ever know (big giggles from the audience, this is a tough crowd).

Tenant: Why am I being charged $120 for plumbing?
Me: Becuase the plumber found dental floss in your sink
Tenant: Do you want me to stop flossing my teeth??
Me: No sir, I want you to put the used floss in the trash can and not the sink drain

Tenants mother: It is very important that her windows are sealed shut
Me: I can not do that becuase it is against fire code
mom: What fire codes? If there is a fire she isnt going to jump out of the window
Me: Ma'am it doesnt matter what she WILL do, its what could happen and I have to obey the law
Mom: Well what if someone tries to break in her apartment through the window.
Me: Ma'am she is on the second floor with no balcony, I dont think anyone will scale the wall

Tenant: We need a new bathtub
Me: Why
Tenant: Because I dont fit in the current one
Me: Then I suggest you take showers instead of baths.


Megan said...

It's amazing what personal information that people will share with a complete stranger! I'm sure you have a very interesting job!

land said...

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