Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Property Manager take 246

Okay so I've written a few posts about my job and how ridiculous some of the people I deal with are. I have talked about the hoarder, some of the crazy parents and the crazy questions I get. Here is a sample of my last month and one that happened today involving dental floss. I'm thinking of starting a whole separate blog for this stuff.

Tenant: My internet is out what do I do.
Me: Ummm Call your internet provider and not your landlord

New tenant: Before I move in I need to know what will happen in case the building burns down or explodes, how will i be compensated.
Me: (laughing) I'm sorry did you say Explode????
Tenant: Yes, this is not a laughing matter miss.
Me: I'm sorry. I suggest you get renters insurance because if the building explodes I cant help you protect your belongings.

New Tenant:(same as above) Our parents dont know we will be living together so if they call can you not mention my girlfriend.
Me: Yes I will be discreet if they ask me if you are living in sin. (Again thinking he is joking I laugh)
Tenants GF: Mam this is very serious to us, I'm in seminiary and could get in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out we are living....... in sin (About to cry)
Me: Just make sure you dont get pregnant and I doubt they would ever know (big giggles from the audience, this is a tough crowd).

Tenant: Why am I being charged $120 for plumbing?
Me: Becuase the plumber found dental floss in your sink
Tenant: Do you want me to stop flossing my teeth??
Me: No sir, I want you to put the used floss in the trash can and not the sink drain

Tenants mother: It is very important that her windows are sealed shut
Me: I can not do that becuase it is against fire code
mom: What fire codes? If there is a fire she isnt going to jump out of the window
Me: Ma'am it doesnt matter what she WILL do, its what could happen and I have to obey the law
Mom: Well what if someone tries to break in her apartment through the window.
Me: Ma'am she is on the second floor with no balcony, I dont think anyone will scale the wall

Tenant: We need a new bathtub
Me: Why
Tenant: Because I dont fit in the current one
Me: Then I suggest you take showers instead of baths.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Super commercials

I LOVE football. I love the game itself, I love cute football players and I especially love the food that comes with watching this sporting event. I'm not a fan of either team but I really despise Steelers fans so I cheered for the Packers. After spending an amazing day at Ft Pulaski on Tybee Island...where I took this great shot.
We picked up some wings and I made my infamous "crack dip" (Sausage, cream cheese, rotel). I sat my happy ass on the floor and started making fun of the players tattoos  (God's gift was my favorite). But the highlight of every superbowl is the commercials. The cable kept going out so I missed a few but now that I've had a chance to catch them all... here are my favorites. 
<a href="" target="_new" title="">Bud Light: Dog Sitter</a>

<a href="" target="_new" title="">NFL: Brand American</a>

<a href="" target="_new" title="">Budweiser: Wild West</a>

<a href="" target="_new" title="">Volkswagen Passat: Young Vader</a>

and my favorite!!

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